


Save Yourself; I'll hold them back.

by XoTheTragicianXo



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album), My Chemical Romance, The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Comic)
Genre: Angst, BL/ind - Freeform, Better Living Industry, Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, Death, Depressing, M/M, Scarecrow - Freeform, killjoys, last days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-09 20:48:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10421457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XoTheTragicianXo/pseuds/XoTheTragicianXo
Summary: The killjoys are facing their last night and day together as a group before running into Bl/Ind HQ To rescue the girl. Party can't help but remember the past as he walks into this and says his final goodbyes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So i Got the idea for this from ff15 when they have their last camp fire. I decided to try to write that for the killjoys last day together. I might write more for this before this happens and some for after, it is left very open but depends if people want more, or I might want to at a later time. I hope you enjoy.

I stood behind Dr D as he began saying his famous words, the words which would reach everyone who needed him and brighten their days, the words of a Shepherd amongst the lost souls in the desert, he had always been and will always be our saviour through the air waves but something seemed off about his voice, it was as if the sombre nature of what was happening around him was getting to him, as everyone carried on packing and getting ready I carried on standing behind him just listening. “Alright, Children, The lights are out and the party's over, it's time for me: Doctor D to start running and say goodbye for a little while.” I felt my head tilt slightly at his words almost in disbelief, it sounded as if he was saying goodbye officially, as if he was leaving the desert blind and hopeless.  
“And I know you're gonna miss me so I'll leave you with this, you know that big ball of radiation we call the sun? Well it'll burst you into flames if you stay in one place too long that is if the static don't get you first” I went to walk forward, I wanted to rip him from the desk and stop him talking, stop the words coming from his mouth which dripped with a melancholy hopelessness which seemed to paint the room. I wanted to yell at him and tell him to stop it, to shut off the radio waves so no one heard his goodbye but my arm was lightly grabbed to stop me storming forward. “So remember even if you're dusted you may be gone, but out here in the desert your shadow lives on without you. This is Dr. Death Defying, signing off.” He shut off the mic and just stayed there staring at it as the radio static now filled the air around us, I turned quickly to face who was holding my arm to see Fun Ghoul, his face was paler than usual with a permanent grave expression etched into it. He gently wiped tears which I hadn’t noticed falling and pulled me to his chest as we heard Dr D pull away from the desk.

I didn’t look up at him I couldn’t face him I just curled closer to Fun Ghoul letting myself collapse, this was our last night at the hut, this was our last night maybe full stop. There was no promise we would all come back if any of us even did and there was no promise everything would be the same.

By the time midnight hit we were all sat on the porch outside, a gentle fire blew in a breeze cutting off the cold where it stood, these nights were usually full of conversations and jokes but it was hard not to notice the absence of Show Pony, Cherri Cola and the girl. Where they all had sat was an empty gap now and none of us wanted to fill it so we just hung back.

We were all quiet and the only noise was the crackling of the fire which burnt as angrily as the rage building inside of me at the whole situation, the images of Show pony lying dead on the floor and Cherri Cola having the mask pulled on kept haunting me, I lost family and I had watched it happen without doing anything to help, as the images kept flooding me I curled closer in on myself trying to not remember the girl being taken as well, we did nothing to save her. We let them leave. I let them leave I was supposed to lead the group but all had done was let us be torn apart, no one made eye contact until Dr rolled over to me and pressed a gentle hand to my neck. “Party.. Can I speak to you inside for a minute please?” I met his gaze and saw the emotionless hazed over eyes of a parent who lost his children and that is what we were to Dr D We were his kids, he had adopted us and raised us as young kids and now three of us were gone.

I stood up gently not even sure if the others noticed as I wiped the brittle sand off my hands and followed him inside, the hut had a warm glow but it wasn’t the usual atmosphere it was deteriorating and it was obvious. He stopped in the living room where we had all spent many nights sitting and yelling at each other, screeching with laughter, play fighting and it was as if I could see the ghost of our younger selves there sat on the floor, Before the code names and training when Mikey, Ray, Frank and I would always scramble to get the spare seat on the sofa next to Dr D who looked so young and carefree, before he lost the ability to walk and before his face had aged from the troubles of this world. It was like I could see Cherri and Show pony as well sat on the floor with each other whispering secrets only meant to be shared between the two of them as if it was only them two against the world. It was heart breaking and I shook my head to push the thought away.

“Party.. I..” He seemed lost for words, the radio man with infinite thoughts and a silver tongue had lost his words for the first time and I just looked away from him and spoke. “Thank you. Thank you for everything Dr D.” I glanced at him again slowly to meet his eyes to see tears start to well and I felt my heart start to drop. “Please don’t cry. Please, it’s already hard enough.” That was when he started and I felt myself start to follow again at seeing him like that, I walked up to him and hugged him tightly. “I really do want to thank you for everything though D, you saved us and raised us and without you we wouldn’t be alive, you’ve always led us.” He still wasn’t speaking. “That’s why you need to keep doing the radio station; even if we don’t come back there are others out there who need Dr D.” “I will.” I pulled back and gave him a sad smile and went to walk away before looking back. “How much of a chance do you think you have tomorrow?” “I will risk every aspect of myself to bring back the girl and the others safely, I’ll even find Cherri.” Dr D let his face drop. “Party. Make sure you come back okay, they need you as their leader.” The words echoed and I went to join the others outside in silence, it was the four of us, it was always going to be the four of us, there was no other way.

We tried to talk like old times, to joke but as the fire grew weaker over the night the reality of the situation began to kick in, Fun Ghoul curled his head to my shoulder as Jet and Kobra broke off to have their own private talks with each other.

That night we all went to our rooms in silence Fun Ghoul following me into mine and Jet star leading Kobra. I couldn’t sleep as I curled as close as possible to Fun Ghoul. He couldn’t sleep either and as I looked at him he had red eyes and tear stained cheeks. “Hey, Frankie..” My voice was soft as I pressed the palms of my hands to his cheeks wiping away the tears and pressing my forehead to his. “I love you, even if we walk into a living hell and I don’t make it out remember I have always loved you.” I felt a sob almost wrack his body as I just held him closer to me. “We didn’t have the best start ever, we fought but you know you are the most important thing in my whole entire world.” He pressed his lips to mine before I could carry on speaking, his lips were warm and soft and he put every ounce of doubt, insecurity and sadness into the kiss as his hands moved down to my hips. When we pulled away he rolled on top of me gently, his body resting on me as if he never wanted to get up and never wanted me to either. “I love you Gee, I love you more than anything.”

That night we made love, tears fell from both of us as our hands entwined and the thought kept crossing my mind as to whether it would be the last time we ever did this, if we would ever even get to be each other again, If I would hear his gentle gasps and moans as he thrusted into me or if I would hear his slight giggle as a movement seemed to tickle him or even hear his soft words as he was coming down from his climax, where every word was a praise to me, where every thought seemed to revolve around how he thought I was amazing or how he loved me, sometimes we would even discuss our future together, running away from this and moving into an old house where we could grow old together and live safely maybe even adopt a kid, a world without war and no pain. A world where we didn’t have to live our final night knowing we probably wouldn’t see each other again and knowing the fear of the situation that was to come.

The sun rose in the morning and so did I, I was the first of the four of us to get up and I dressed early to go to the grave a small walk from the hut. The grave was marked with his helmet and I sat there stroking a hand in the sand where I know his body was buried. “Show… So this is goodbye officially… maybe what Cherri used to talk about was true hey? The phoenix witch? Maybe we will get to see each other again.” I paused waiting for a response I knew would never come. “Well, take care of Dr D yeah? And when we get the girl and Cherri Cola free… Look after them as well.” My hands were shaking as I held sand in my hand the heat from it just enough to warm the skin and not burn. “Fuck I hope they remember us when we are gone and they stay safe. I hope we don’t just turn into dust in the sand and everyone forgets who we even were.”

I was called inside to get ready for the last leg an hour later and I felt all cried out, my sadness had turned to a quiet anger and everyone else felt different as we stood there feeling like kids being sent on our first mission all over again. Dr D was absent from the room as we gathered everything only coming in at the last minute to take a look at us. He was saying goodbyes and already Fun Ghoul and Kobra had broken down in tears, I looked anywhere but at him and noticed a picture hanging from the wall amongst many, this one I walked over to and pulled it into my hands, it was all of us, everyone in overly baggy uniforms, The front row of the photo was Kobra smiling gently while trying to look cool, Jet next to him Looking naturally happy with his hair blowing into his face, Fun ghoul Sticking his tongue out with an eye closed trying to ruin the photo and me on the end laughing at him hard, then the top had Show pony and Cherri with their arms around Dr D, this was before the big fights, before the emotional trauma and the pain. I slipped it into my pocket not caring if anyone had seen me and turned back to the others who were still saying their final goodbyes. As Dr D rolled to me he stopped and I bent down to look into his face. “I mean what I said. I will get you the girl, Cherri and the others back here safely with you.” He shut his eyes slowly. “All of you need to come back safely.” As we got in the car I took one last solemn look of the second home we were abandoning, the diner and the hut both places we had loved and were being left behind as we drove off towards uncertainty, the drive was long and the sky was darkening, my eyes never left the road even as I heard jet star reassuring the others we will be fine, I kept quiet.

The moment it hit us what we were doing we had crashed through a bl/ind barrier taking down draculoids as we went, this was the final run, we had been planning it for weeks and finally it was happening, we knew our way to get in and out, knew the cameras and knew the guards but we were still scared as we walked into battle. Crossing the bridge was easy and bursting in through those glass doors into the pristine building was as well, what got hard was finding the girl and as we did to have her hug us and feel safe but we all knew what would happen, get the girl out don’t think about ourselves. We walked fast our lasers pulled ready for action and we didn’t look back, the thought of finding Cherri lingered with me and I knew I had to send him back safely with Dr D. But as we got to the main room we were surrounded by masked men and blinding lasers, the girl hid behind us as we fought our way through helping each other, Fun ghoul and I let our eyes meet and he mouthed that he loved me which I returned before separating from the group, I was running shooting down anyone in my way as they slowly moved closer to the door, I came up behind a draculoid and grabbed him as I shot, he fell down and I recoiled as the mask fell from his face giving me full view of the human underneath it. I gasped softly and stepped away nearly dropping the gun from my hand, a hand moved to my face as I saw the blank eyes of Cherri Cola, the smoke still burning from the gunshot wound, I felt sick as I staggered backwards as everyone around us carried on.

The first to notice was Kobra, he glanced over and saw the body at my feet and the shock washed over him before he had to carry on, I walked backwards away from everyone as lasers began to fly dangerously close to me. I killed Cherri Cola. I just kept stepping away, my mind was racing and then I felt a hand grab my throat hard and send me flying back hard into the pale wall behind me, I dropped my gun and stared in shock as Korse got into my face. He held a shit eating grin and just pressed his laser under my chin and I was helpless. I saw Kobra running towards me and a flash of brunette hair running with the girl. An ear splitting scream cut through everything. “Gerard! Gerard no!” It was Frank and as he started running it was too late, a light flashed and everything slipped away from me in a second. This was death, this was nothingness and I could see what was happening to them all, it was a nightmare I watched as they struck down a manic Kobra and had to watch as my brother crumpled in on himself guns till firing as he goes down, then fun ghoul as he shoved the other two out, he looked hopeless as he locked the door closing himself inside, he had to sacrifice himself and as the lasers fired he kept walking and shooting never flinching at the pain of multiple shots before he fell.

Then lastly Ray outside, they were so close as he got near the car but they were ambushed as he pushed the girl away and told her to run back up would follow us as plan but she needed to run and as she did she didn’t look back as he was thrown against our car, his face stained with that fear that was on it in the last minutes and then the fight was over, people ran after the girl as a van picked her up, a mixture of unfamiliar and familiar faces mingled into one as I felt myself being dragged away, my soul was being beckoned to leave and I felt fear of what was to come. Everything was evaporating until I was In a space like darkness then greeted silently by a mask like face that would have been terrifying if a sense of calm didn’t embody it. “Phoenix witch.” Those words rolled from my lips disembodied as I felt everything that I was and would be crumble into nothingness.


End file.
